The relationship between siblings in a family with a special needs child is complex and sensitive. It requires continuous assessment, vigilance, and evaluation. Ignoring these issues can lead to problems that will eventually become visible.
With a special needs child in the family, parents often find themselves dealing with unexpected situations and have to react thoughtfully and reasonably. However, the overwhelming pressure and responsibility can make it difficult to think clearly.
Parents may find themselves focusing solely on their special needs child and neglecting the other family members. This can cause siblings to feel left out and pressured to be “good” to make life easier for their parents.
The impact of having a special needs child in the family can be huge, and without proper management, it can be destructive. Siblings may feel embarrassed or responsible for their brother or sister’s behavior, and the lack of availability from parents can be traumatic.
To address these challenges, it is important to recognize that parents are not alone and to build a support system. Parents should also include siblings in conversations and decision-making and set aside special time for each child. Enhancing joined sibling activities and being fully present for the family is also important.
It can be overwhelming, but parents should remember to take a step back and focus on what is best for the whole family. Cherishing special moments together and seeking support can make a huge difference.
Take a breather and relax, I know how overwhelming it can be! I’ve been there too, lost and sleepless for years. But I want to help. Here are some tips based on my first-hand experience that can help address the challenges of caring for a special needs child:
- You’re not alone:
It’s important to build a wide support system to help you and your child. After-school clubs, online activities, scout groups, and volunteers who can come to your home can all ease the pressure on your family and give you more time to care for your child. Knowing that you’re not alone can give you hope and make you feel less vulnerable. - Make them feel like a team:
Don’t shield siblings from what’s happening. Including them in conversations and decision-making empowers the whole family. Siblings can learn to think and feel like a team, and their tolerance, approach, and acceptance can improve. - Set special time for each child:
This is the most important tip! Spending special time with each child heals wounds, clears minds, and reminds your kids that you’re always there for them. Cherish this time and give yourself fully to it. It also gives you the love you need to carry on. - Enhance joined sibling activities:
Play bonding games and card games that encourage talking about themselves. Easy, short, fun games like Uno, Uno Flip, and Chutes and Ladders can also bring siblings together - Talk to your children and be present:
It’s crucial for parents to be emotionally and physically present. If possible, try to work part-time or not at all until your kids are mature enough. Children, in general, may not have the ability to interpret sensitive and vulnerable situations. A parent’s interpretation and the chance for kids to talk about their feelings and ease their confusion is critical for raising happy children. - Create a safe space for siblings to express their emotions:
It is important for siblings to have an outlet to express their feelings, whether it be to a parent, therapist, or support group. Parents can create a safe space for their children to talk about their experiences and emotions without fear of judgment or reprimand. - Encourage siblings to develop their own interests and hobbies :
It is important for siblings to have their own activities and interests that are separate from their special needs sibling. Encouraging and supporting their individuality can help them to develop a sense of identity and self-worth outside of their role as a sibling of a special needs child. - Educate siblings about their special needs sibling’s condition:
Knowledge is power and can help siblings to understand their sibling’s behaviors and needs. This can help to reduce confusion and frustration, and promote empathy and compassion. - Celebrate each child’s achievements and milestones:
It is important to celebrate the achievements and milestones of each child in the family, not just the special needs child. This can help to foster a sense of pride and accomplishment, and reinforce the idea that each child is important and valued. - Take care of yourself as a parent:
It is crucial for parents to prioritize their own self-care, whether it be through regular exercise, meditation, therapy, or taking time for personal hobbies and interests. This can help to reduce stress and anxiety, and promote better mental health and well-being, which can ultimately benefit the entire family.
